Sunday, 11 December 2016
Advent-ures: Number Eleven, The Sea
In all the years since my return to Aberdeen, it had been my intention to go down to the shore.
To be by the sea again.
I thought that when I came here, I would spend every weekend walking on the beach with FL, hand in hand. Like we used to do.
But other than a few excursions with my children, in the early years, it just didn't happen.
When he died, I said to myself that it was the first thing I must do. I almost went there on the way home from the hospice that night, but I knew better.
And then it turned into one of those things that it felt impossible to do without him.
So this morning, I took myself there.
I was kind to myself and went to the "busiest" beach I could think of.
Aberdeen Beach in December, Roo?!
There were of course a few joggers and dog-walkers.
One bewildered-looking family.
But mostly it was just me and the waves.
Daring them to come too near.
Watching the swell.
Turning into that crazy old woman staring out at the horizon trying to turn back time.