Sunday, 11 December 2016

Advent-ures: Number Eleven, The Sea


In all the years since my return to Aberdeen, it had been my intention to go down to the shore.
To be by the sea again.

I thought that when I came here, I would spend every weekend walking on the beach with FL, hand in hand.  Like we used to do.

But other than a few excursions with my children, in the early years, it just didn't happen.


When he died, I said to myself that it was the first thing I must do.  I almost went there on the way home from the hospice that night, but I knew better.

And then it turned into one of those things that it felt impossible to do without him.


So this morning, I took myself there.

I was kind to myself and went to the "busiest" beach I could think of.
Ha!
Aberdeen Beach in December, Roo?!
There were of course a few joggers and dog-walkers.
One bewildered-looking family.

But mostly it was just me and the waves.
Daring them to come too near.
Watching the swell.
Turning into that crazy old woman staring out at the horizon trying to turn back time.



4 comments:

  1. Lovely photos of the beach - living in land locked Alberta I miss the coast :)

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  2. Oh, Roo! Your writing - it really strikes a chord. I hope the sea can be something calming and peaceful for you again. Writing those sorts of sentences, that kind of "advice" feels a bit wrong though - because places and music and activities can be hard because of the memories attached to them, and I don't want the memories to be undone or untrue - in order for the thing to become peaceful again.

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  3. Dear Roo, 'Crazies' of all ages look out to the sea, watch that eternal ebbb and flow, to try and make sense of things.

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