A post about your style crisis, Roo?
How very old-school of you.
You may have noticed I have been sewing less this year.
And I have made the occasional reference to shop-bought clothes.
I may have apologised for this, but I am going to stop doing that as of now.
Try to make good choices, but stop being "sorry".
The pursuit of a handmade wardrobe was somewhat of a passion of mine.
I would drop incisive comments about wardrobe ethics into any conversation about my borderline inappropriate dress in the workplace. I would meet the raised eyebrows with a steely stare.
My position has shifted.
I had a massive clearout of my wardrobe earlier in the year.
A great many of my home-made clothes embarrassed me.
My new status as "widow in her 50's" made short skirts feel dangerously attention-seeking.
The vintage shapes suddenly seemed to tip over the edge into frumpy territory.
Busy prints felt childish.
I have spent the greater part of this year learning new behaviour patterns.
It has been really hard.
Earlier this week I had an experience which upset the balance altogether.
I had to facilitate a development event for VIPs, involving presentations and a guided tour.
I was catapulted into the frontline as the public face of my organisation.
And later that same day I was scheduled to cover a Very Serious meeting with Very Serious people.
So I dug out the black suit I bought last year to wear to the funeral that never happened.
First time on.
I wore it with a high-necked Victorian-style blouse (from Zara).
And the silver locket that FL gave me on the occasion of our decision to get married.
That silver locket has become my amulet this year.
I polished my black boots.
(Just to say: The DMs remain non-negotiable.)
And I was taken seriously.
Nobody ever takes me seriously!
The VIPs engaged me in polite conversation.
I am accustomed to being ignored.
Even within the scary meeting I was aware that I was noticed.
And somehow I held it together and maintained something approaching... gravitas?
It's enough to make me snort my tea.
I discussed it with The Girl and we agreed that while it should not be true, the only way a woman gets taken seriously at work is if she dresses like a man.
So I guess I have chosen a new path.
No Roo, don't just "guess" - commit!
My current style aspirations involve edgy androgyny.
Getting a proper haircut is no longer optional.
The colour palette is more sober, the lines stronger.
And I am not interested in sewing those things.
I would much rather spend my free time knitting myself some subversive neon socks, or a statement shawl.
Because you didn't think I had lost my mind altogether did you?!