Saturday, 17 December 2016

Advent-ures: Number Seventeen, Touchstone


1. A hard black stone, such as jasper or basalt, formerly used to test the quality of gold or silver by comparing the streak left on the stone by one of these metals with that of a standard alloy.
2. An excellent quality or example that is used to test the excellence or genuineness of others:
"the qualities of courage and vision that are the touchstones of leadership" (Henry A. Kissinger).

This is the American Heritage Dictionary definition, the one I like best.

I am a silver streak against a hard black stone.

But Touchstone is also a character in "As You Like It", described as "a natural fool":  one of those Court jesters whose fool-ish witticisms are searingly perceptive and strike at the true heart of the matter.

Hmmm.  Not what I was looking for, let's go from old culture to new, the Urban Dictionary definition: 

Person of importance. Significant other. Your constant, the person who completes you and makes you whole. A true friend without criticisms and judgements, who loves you unconditionally."

And I realised that this is the nature of my loss, the core of my grief.

And that I cannot possibly write "Thank you for being my touchstone" because my touchstone has gone.


  1. I have always held to the thought that they are never truly gone until they are forgotten. By sharing the story of yourself and FL in such a loving and genuine way you have helped to ensure that he will be remembered for years to come by people who although they never met him, were touched by his life. I hope that may give you some comfort. We, your readers, are all still thinking of you.

  2. Can I just please second what SewSmart said so elegantly. X

  3. And I "third" it - so well phrased. Although I felt struck dumb by the nature of your loss, the core of your grief.

  4. oH Ruth. Heart hurts for you. Sending a hug... but wishing life were not so hard. But... i admire all your efforts to Live and be You, too... to try to find that small joy in being who we are meant to be, in ourselves. Just ourselves.

  5. Xoxo, dearest. I don't have good words. You are seen and loved by many.

  6. Xoxo, dearest. I don't have good words. You are seen and loved by many.